Lilith's Biography

"Well fuck you too!  And fuck this stupid house you call a 'home for troubled teens when we know good and damn well you're spending the money from the state on more drugs!  Fuck all of you, I'd rather go to fucking prison!!!"

Lilith stormed from the crumbling brick building that she had called home for the last 2 years.  Her parents had sent her there when she was 17, as a way to try to control the rageful outbursts that had caused her to end up in a detention center and miss nearly 2 years of school already.  She was meant to stay until she was 18, but that year had come and gone and Lilith had stayed only because the advocacy from social workers had kept her out of jail.  But this was the ending point for her.  The state had cut off the funding when she was 18 months past her 18th birthday and she was going to be shuffled out of the system and dumped out into the world to fend for herself whether she was ready for it or not.

Her childhood had been a series of trouble one after the other.  No one could really pinpint what exactly had turned her this way, neglectful parents said some, trauma she was not talking about?  She never told anyone about the things that happened in that church basement.  Sunday school they called it, but because most of the children that the pastor and his brainwashed cult minions did those things to, simply came home subdued broken souls who were extremely compliant, everyone just said Lilith was a hopeless case and insensitive to God's influence in her life.  And Lilith never tried to tell anyone otherwise, what would have been the point?  She knew no one would believe her, and it just seemed easier to deal with what had happened in her own way.  By the time she was 12, they stopped making her go to church, but the damage was done, and the scars it left on her were angry, jaggred wunds that she found she could only stop the throbbing ache by causing as much chaos as was possible, as long as there was someone else to take out the anger on, she didn't think about the past, there was only now and the constant mantra in her head that she would do the hurting from now on, and never the other way around.

As she left the house she forgot to wear a jacket and the chill winter air was helping to cool her temper so she forgot all about it as she marched down the streets angrily.  The danger in her outbursts lately was not so much the legal consequences of the law coming down on her back, no there were people who were looking for her, to pay her back for the damage she had done to them.  Only last week a gang member whose girlfriend she had beat the shit out of, had put a bullet right through her bedroom window at the home and it had landed right on her bed, it was only luck that she was taking a shower at the time.  

Lilith was aware that her luck was going to run out soon, but right in this moment she just didn't care.  She balled up her fists as she walked through the city's back streets, and she snarled like an angry rabid wold when a small girl walked by quickly and jutted into a nearby crack in a broken well, some street kid she thought as the girl's dirty clothes shrouding her small frame disappeared from sight.  She was calming down some and she walked slower, heading to her favorite place to sit and chill out before she could even consider going back to the home to sort things out.

She was thinking about how everyone seemed to hate her and want her to fail, She remembered last week how a girl that she had gone to school with spotted her and started screaming at her about some long gone drama. The girl had a man with her, and he had a gun, and they were both so intoxicated with whatever they had drugged themselves with that they were screaming nonsense threats at her. And just as the man pointed the gun and fired, Lilith suddenly felt pushed about 10 feet out of the way. The bullet made contact with a stop sign instead of her head. And then a hand was grabbing her and taking her away, to a quiet side street. That person was Ellie. At first, she just wanted to run away, what the fuck was this weird woman jumping in to save a stranger?

Lilith shook her head as she remembered the experience. Ellie had said something about needing to be more careful, and Lilith had responded with her usual impulsive sarcasm about not needing anyone to help her, but it could not have been further from the truth. In her mind, the word prison loomed over her head, the danger never being from something she had done herself but always being in the wrong place, at the wrong time. She remembered helping to drag a dead body to the river because she knew that anyone would have had no issues implicating her in it. It was somehow all of these thoughts, that Ellie seemed to get her to talk about, it was so easy to tell her anything and Lilith had no idea why. At the end of the day though she had left her eventually, walked her back to the home so she was safe. But Lilith felt like she almost did not want to, as if she had said something that had made Ellie want to linger, but felt she should not. Lilith never really thought about her much afterward, just another concerned stranger who would never be able to save her. She rubbed her eyes to clear the thoughts from her head and kept on trodding down the streets.

Lilith walked to the bridge quickly, it was starting to snow and she visibly shivered, she cursed herself for leaving in nothing but a t-shirt and skinny jeans, even her feet were prickling with icey chill inside of the boots she had on.  She turned the last corner of the string of dark alleys she had crossed through to head to the bridge she loved to sit by and people watch.  But she never made it even two more steps.



She had been so angry, that she had not observed that she was being followed.  He had been stalking her for some time now, waiting for the perfect chance.  It was one of the men from the gang, upset that his hired gunshot did not end her life, but he intended to end it now.  Lilith had no chance to think, she had no coat on and her thin t-shirt with the words, "I have no fucks left to give" was easily pierced with the knife as it sunk into her flesh beyond it.  The man plunged it into her and then removed it quickly, blood poured from Lilith as she dropped to the ground and screamed.

Suddenly footsteps could be heard, was that a cop?  Whatever it was the man ran off suddenly and left Lilith there to die.  The snow was falling harder now she blinked back the flakes as they landed on her lashes but she didn't have the strength to push it off any other part of her body.  She was slowly dying and she cried softly, she had never imaged that this was how she would go out of this world, alone in an alley where it could take hours for anyone to find her cold dead body.  

It seemed like hours had passed, but she was dizzy and slowly losing consciousness from the loss of blood.  She saw a figure darken the ray of light that the street lamps cast on the pavement that was gathering more snow covering by the minute.  She thought it was the man returning at first, and her muddled thoughts screamed out towards the figure, to just let her die.  Flashes of her entire life ran through her mind at lightning speed, her mother saying she never loved her, her father claiming she was someone else's child but surely not his, teachers saying she never tried hard enough, so-called friends abandoning her, how close she was to ending up in prison if she kept going as she was.

If only some kind stranger could read her mind, but she had no hope for that, the last bit of life was exiting her body and she closed her eyes for what she was sure would be the last time.